When we break up, we replay all the bad things in the light of how could we have fixed it instead of believing that there was no way it couldn't have been fixed if we did this or changed that...
Humans are not so quick to change patterns, and when we can't or don't see the pattern that our partners claim we have, it's damn near impossible... Sure we say, "O.k baby.. I'll fix it..." but truthfully, we only do it to stop all the fucking nagging, arguments, and silent treatment.. So since we never thought said problem you claimed we had existed, we can't and don't fix shit.
THEN once it ends, we finally evaluate ourselves from the outside in - to see how could someone possibly say we had this trait in us - and finally realize, "Yeah, I did do that..." Then through self realization, we not only change, but we grow..
So we do one of two things...
1. Tell ourselves it's too late and we blew it..
That the person has probably moved on already or not willing to take us back.. We've missed out on something that meant the world to us.
Or
2. We try and get them back..
If you're lucky, they are there with opened arms because they believe in the boomerang effect.. If you love it, let it go.. If it's meant to be, it will come back again.. Unfortunately for the unlucky ones, you've grown and changed a little too late. They're not willing to take you back and don't believe you've changed. Or.... They HAVE moved on...
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Now comes the confusing and depressional phase.. Out of pur love for this person, we want and try to be happy for them because that's all we ever wanted for them.. We truly mean it when we say, "I just want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me." -- Yet we don't believe that we ourselves will ever be truly happy unless we're with them and feel that we were put on this earth to be their soulmate and ruined it for the both of us.
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They don't believe they'll ever get the happiness back that they once shared with you and someone new comes in their life that brings back those feelings of happiness they had with you and you're so happy to feel those sparks again that you run with it and don't look back.. Tell yourself, "Now this time I won't take it for granted, I won't let it end.. I'll fight this time before I let it get to where the last one was taken." But.. Somehow it falls apart anyway.. So again you move on.. You fall in love even quicker than you did with us so you believe in your heart of hearts that this must really be the one this time... Now you you feel what you felt with us, and the one after us, combined.. Things look great.. Then the problems start.. Neither one of you can deal with it yet neither one of you want to be faced with another relationship gone wrong...
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To be continued...
