-:|:_Give.It.To.Me_:|:-

Ahhh.. I hate when I think about the past.. More matter of factly... Past relationships...

I don't know why, but I can only think about the good in them no matter how ugly the bad was. AND... I hate it.

Just makes me yearn for love and affection... Which then makes me feel so alone and lonely..

More importantly, I hate missing someone... One of the worst feelings next to heartbreak.

I wish I could find someone like me..

Meaning: Someone who's had their heart broken, been through the ups and downs, the break ups and make ups and is tired of it... Wants to be in a no bullshit relationship... Wants to take it slow so we can learn each other first before moving too fast into something that's doomed to hurt us both...

I guess what I'm really saying is--

I want a man - not a boy

-:|:_WTF.?!_:|:-

So yesterday morning I was in a car accident with my son and my mother. Big rig truck ran into the passenger side of our car... The side that I was on. I came out of it with injuries to the head, neck, back, and knees.. in ALOT of pain.

A chic that that's been a friend for HELLA years asked me what happened... So I told her and told her my son was alright, my mom had some back issues, and all that was wrong with me and that I was tired from being in the hospital for hella hours... All she said was, "Well thank he's ok... I'm tired too."

I didn't say anything to her.. Told her I was going to go rest..

So I get texts all through the night asking what I'm doing, to talk to her, and just random shit.. I ignore them.. Finally go to sleep.

This morning my phone is just going off.!! texts msgs and phone calls.. So I send a mass text telling everyone I was real tired and very sore. get a text back from her saying, "oh."

Couple hours later get another text "what you doing?" I tell her I'm still in pain and it sucks 'cause I can barely move around but have to look after and take care of a 5 month old by myself. She's like, "Awwwww. I'm tired. Can't wait to get home."

..................

I'm just like wtf.?!

SoI text back, "hmmm" she's like "why you say that?"

I said "Um.... I was just injured in a car accident and PEOPLE are acting like I tripped and scraped my fucking toenail..."

this bitch... just says "I understand..."

WHAT THE FUCK.?! Are you serious.?!

Ahhhh

I can't.!!

-:|:_Throwback_:|:-

Green hair don't care.!! I was the shit when I had this, lol.

I'd just cut my hair and didn't like it, so I bleached the top and dyed it green.. Was LOVING it then.!!

I miss it. :-(

-:|:_Already.Shattered_:|:-

I find it rather puzzling that I'm still breathing
That I'm able to hear your every word
Look at you with these eyes
Feel your hand remove itself from mine

That I'm able to feel the seconds slip away from us
Or the us that we used to be

See I'm in a midst of disbelief in this reality
Not wanting to hear Silent's Truth speak to me
I'd rather go blind than to see you walk away
Rather go numb than to not feel your touch

But your eyes tell me I have no choice
That's it's too late to plead for your heart

And my heart...

As you start to speak those words I dreaded
Silence now spoken aloud... In the voice I love
You tell me this is it and it's over
That you didn't want to break my heart

But it's too late
The moment I saw it in your eyes
Those eyes that showed the love you had for me
And the love you knew I had for you

It was already shattered

-:|:_My Numerology Report_:|:-

I've been looking a little deeper at your numerology chart
toya, and here is what I have found:

I see you floating in a sea of endless time - great vistas and a
feeling of lifetimes behind and ahead of you. I get the feeling of
urgency with you Shatoya, things that must be done,
lessons that must be experienced. I sense the rhythm of life, the
cycles we all experience.

From your Life Path in combination with your Soul Urge, I get the
impression that you have a pleasant personality, and are generally
liked by others. You can be easily hurt at times, and as a result
are more careful with displaying your feelings than you used to be.

toya, I sense that you are a very busy person who is
always on the go. The more you have on your plate, the better. At
times you wish you had less to do, but you would be totally lost if
you woke up one morning and found nothing at all to do! This
couldn't happen, of course, as every time you get a space you seem
to fill it up very quickly. You'll be just as busy in late life as
well ... in fact you won't get time to grow old, you'll just simply
keep on growing!

Having said that, it's not surprising you need a break after this
past year. Let's face it - we all need a little breathing space now
and again to re-charge our batteries. Remember to take time to
smell the roses!

toya, you have had a few worries recently about money,
but you know you have the power to solve them. While it's been a
bit of a bumpy ride financially these past couple of years, the
next 18 months or so will be a lot easier.

Looking at your Personal Days and Personal Months, you should be
pleased toya ... it shows that shortly you will receive
some pleasant news. It is nothing momentous, but is sufficient to
raise your sights and hopes. It is good news.

I sense a period early on in your life - teenage years perhaps -
when you felt misunderstood, as if you couldn't really get close to
anyone, as it you are walking on the outside of life. These
feelings very occasionally reoccur.

You are a very special person toya. The experiences you
undergo are all for a very special purpose, one I'm sure you are
not aware of yet. Nevertheless, you are progressing in exactly the
right direction. Your timing is good and you are learning from
every experience. I don't know if you believe in reincarnation, but
I get the feeling that you are a highly evolved person, as if you
have lived many times before. In time you will have much to offer
the rest of us.

Romantically, it has not always been easy, and your outlook on life
has changed because of this. The future is much easier in this
regard than in the past.

toya, you have sometimes wondered if you have made the
right decisions at times, and it looks as if you have. You work
best when you make your own mind up on things, though it is useful
to ask other people for advice before you make your own mind up.

I see some travel in your future, and several new horizons
beckoning. Your progress in this world has not always been as fast
as you would like, but I can see significant growth in the future.
You tend to feel you have a lot of unused capacity, and that people
don't always give you full credit for your abilities.

I can see you happy and productive in your old age, surrounded by
friends and family. You are of above average intelligence, and will
keep on learning all the way through life.