-:

--Disclaimer:: This isn't new.. I had this on another spot that I'm deleting things from but... Since I wrote it, I don't want it to be fully gone.. I keep a record of EVERYTHING.

December 18, 2007 - Tuesday

Emotions.Out.
Current mood: crushed
Category: |.Missing The Love Of My Life.| Blogging


The year is almost over and... I'm still not over it... Still not over you. How can 4 years just be broken so easily.?

I try to remain friends with you but you always take it there... Back to that level that I'm still so comfortable with.. And I find myself getting lost in the past with you and it hurts me. So I try to stay away from you.. Away form you, your voice, your words, your thoughts -- everything about you... But something always has to remind me of you and I find myself wrapped inside "US" again... It's a slow killing pain to know that you're right there but nothing's the same with us... Can't tell if it will ever be.

I should hate you... And my heart does... But my soul... It has a love of it's own for you that refuses to let you go... I even hate it when someone asks me about you... "Where's Eryk.?" .. "How's Eryk.?" -- I used to know the answer to those questions every second.

With not knowing... I can't even sleep anything...

Can't think straight...

Can't go a week without shedding a tear or two for you...

For us.

Is it wrong for wanting everything we had back...? Even the bad times.? The times we weren't so sure if we were going to make it but through God and everyone who loved "US" we did.? Is it wrong for missing every loving moment and memory with you.? Every morning and night with you.? Even every fight with you.?

What about the break ups to make up.? What happened to that.? I guess all I can do is apologize... Apologize to you, to me, and to us for everything... I know I'm to blame for most of what went down but if I can take it back, I'd give my life up for it. I told you I'd "Die For You" ... And I meant ALL three words of it.


Currently listening :
Complex Simplicity
By Teedra Moses
Release date: 01 November, 2004

---

July 18, 2007 - Wednesday

so.im.back.
Category: Blogging


but it's not becuz of the reason u may think...

nothin has really changed.. for those who dunno.. im sorta seperated at tha moment.. not my choice but.. tha hand i was dealt n must play..

so dun let tha pics or status fool u.. but yes.. dey will always mean tha same to me no matta wat..



so.. about me leavin.. cancelin erthing.. i was at tha end of my road.. at a crossin.. felt like erthing was ova n dat was nuttin else left for me.. so i chose tha route i knu was wrong but felt dere was no otha way.. as u can see tho.. im still here so i dun need tha talk.. i kno my choice was wrong.. but at dat time.. it felt rite..



i kno im sorta talkin in riddles but i still cant cum out n fully say wat i did.. i kno it was wrong.. NOW.. so dats all dat matters... dere r otha ways to handle tha world as i kno it endin.. i jus gotta figure dem out..


Currently listening :
T.I. vs T.I.P.
By T.I.
Release date: 03 July, 2007